Kiwi Polemicist

May 29, 2009

• Would you like a goat with that, sir? Mitsubishi offers free goats

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Your new back seat driver

Mitsubishi is offering a free goat with its Triton utes (trucks in the USA). This gives them a great line:

Goats, like our Tritons, are hardy, versatile units, which will integrate directly into existing farm operations.

Hallelujah! An original, clever and (presumably) truthful marketing spiel. This offer is also generating great publicity (i.e. free advertising) for Mitsubishi, because umpteen news outlets are covering the story, and I’m sure that the publicity value alone will far exceed the cost of the goats.

Capitalism is a wonderful thing, because the profit motive encourages people to do creative, zany things in order to make more money. Compare the Mitsubishi scheme with Soviet Russia, where people would park their cars and remove the wiper blades to prevent theft. That’s right, wiper blades were so scarce that they were a valuable commodity. Capitalism leads to free goats, and communism leads to scarce wiper blades. Presumably Lada never offered a free goat with its cars: they had no need to, because it was so hard to get a car that people were grateful to get any piece of junk that Lada made, and Lada made junk because the state told them to make cars, not profit. To put it another way, Lada stayed in “business” no matter what they did, so they did whatever was easiest.

When did you last meet someone who was lusting after a Lada? Mitsubishi vehicles are far superior to Lada vehicles because if Mitsubishi vehicles were as bad as Ladas Mitsubishi would go broke: the profit motive keeps Mitsubishi honest and the customers happy.

Lada or Mitsubishi? Communism or capitalism? Take your pick.

Don’t forget that socialism is communism attained via democracy.

Feel free to share your favourite Lada jokes and/or personal experiences.

mitsubishi tritonlada saloon car russia ussr


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